Quotations about Sex I

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. ~Bob Rubin


Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988


The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul. ~William B. Yeats


Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. ~Author Unknown


Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped. ~Author Unknown


Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen


The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently. ~Margaret Smith


Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love. ~Woody Allen


For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. ~Jay Leno


Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X


Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~Quentin Crisp


It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance. ~Elizabeth Taylor


When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave. ~Author Unknown

A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~Author Unknown


Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact. ~Marlene Dietrich

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~Author Unknown


Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. ~Butch Hancock


To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. ~Don Schrader


The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work. ~William H. Masters


Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. ~Spike Milligan, The Last Goon Show of All


There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted. ~Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. ~Frederike Ryder


My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one. ~Bob Hope


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? ~Murray Banks


Anticipation makes the hard-on longer. ~Itsby Stevintary


I once knew a woman who offered her honor
So I honored her offer
And all night long I was on her and off her.
~Author Unknown


Those who have prophesied dreadful consequences as a result of the greater sexual freedom which the young assert - unwanted babies, venereal disease and so on - are usually the very same people who seek the fulfillment of their prophecies by opposing the free availability to the young of contraception and the removal of the stigma and mystification that surround venereal disease. ~Colin Ward, Anarchy in Action