Funny Quotations About Fathers

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. ~ Rodney Dangerfield


To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. ~ Ernest Hemingway


I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." and I say,"Yeah? When?" ~ Bill Hicks


My father only hit me once -- but he used a Volvo. ~ Bob Monkhouse


A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. ~ Helen Rowland


The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them. ~ Bertrand Russell


Growing up, my father told me I could be whomever I wanted. What a cruel hoax that was! I'm still his son. ~ Kenny Smith

Quotes About Promises II

Promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise.


When a man repeats a promise again and again, he means to fail you. ~Proverb


A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain. ~Arabian Proverb



The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. ~Bill Cosby

It is an immutable law in business that words are words, explanations are explanations, promises are promises but only performance is reality. ~Harold Geneen


A promise is a debt. ~Proverb



Those that are most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it. ~Jean Jacques Rousseau


God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine. ~David Nicholas


Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans. ~Peter F. Drucker


Those who promise us paradise on earth never produced anything but a hell. ~Karl Popper


Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement. ~Samuel Johnson


A liar is always lavish of oaths. ~Pierre Corneille


In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter. ~Chinese Proverb


For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service. ~John Burroughs



Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey. ~Marcel Proust


Beauty always promises, but never gives anything. ~Simone Weil



The man who promises everything is sure to fulfill nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition. ~Carl Jung


A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise. ~Niccolo Machiavelli


Rarely promise, but, if lawful, constantly perform. ~William Penn


Breach of promise is a base surrender of truth. ~Mohandas Gandhi


Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. ~Nikita Khrushchev



Promise little and do much. ~Hebrew Proverb


One promises much, to avoid giving little. ~Marquis de Vauvenargues


Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. ~Wayne Dyer




A politician is known by the promises he keeps.

Quotes About Promises I

Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.


Eggs and oaths are easily broken. ~Danish Proverb



Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. ~Bernard M. Baruch


Promises make debt, and debt makes promises. ~Dutch Proverb


Nothing weights lighter than a promise. ~German Proverb


A promise made is a debt unpaid. ~Robert Service



A promise is a comfort for a fool. ~Proverb


He was ever precise in promise-keeping. ~William Shakespeare


An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise. ~William Dean Howells


Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep. ~Denis Waitley


We must not promise what we ought not, lest we be called on to perform what we cannot. ~Abraham Lincoln


For every promise, there is price to pay. ~Jim Rohn


The promises of yesterday are the taxes of today. ~William Lyon MacKenzie


Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible. ~Hannah Arendt


Half the promises people say were never kept, were never made. ~Edgar Watson Howe


We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears. ~Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld


When a man takes an oath... he's holding his own self in his own hands. Like water. And if he opens his fingers then - he needn't hope to find himself again. ~Robert Bolt


Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it. ~Norman Douglas


Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once. ~Norman Vincent Peale


He loses his thanks who promises and delays. ~Proverb


Promise is most given when the least is said. ~George Chapman


Oaths are but words, and words but wind. ~Samuel Butler


To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. ~Mark Twain


Promises are like the full moon, if they are not kept at once they diminish day by day. ~German Proverb


One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises that one makes. ~Friedrich Nietzsche