Funny Quotations About Fathers

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. ~ Rodney Dangerfield


To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. ~ Ernest Hemingway


I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." and I say,"Yeah? When?" ~ Bill Hicks


My father only hit me once -- but he used a Volvo. ~ Bob Monkhouse


A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. ~ Helen Rowland


The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them. ~ Bertrand Russell


Growing up, my father told me I could be whomever I wanted. What a cruel hoax that was! I'm still his son. ~ Kenny Smith

Quotes About Promises II

Promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise.


When a man repeats a promise again and again, he means to fail you. ~Proverb


A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain. ~Arabian Proverb



The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. ~Bill Cosby

It is an immutable law in business that words are words, explanations are explanations, promises are promises but only performance is reality. ~Harold Geneen


A promise is a debt. ~Proverb



Those that are most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it. ~Jean Jacques Rousseau


God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine. ~David Nicholas


Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans. ~Peter F. Drucker


Those who promise us paradise on earth never produced anything but a hell. ~Karl Popper


Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement. ~Samuel Johnson


A liar is always lavish of oaths. ~Pierre Corneille


In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter. ~Chinese Proverb


For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service. ~John Burroughs



Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey. ~Marcel Proust


Beauty always promises, but never gives anything. ~Simone Weil



The man who promises everything is sure to fulfill nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition. ~Carl Jung


A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise. ~Niccolo Machiavelli


Rarely promise, but, if lawful, constantly perform. ~William Penn


Breach of promise is a base surrender of truth. ~Mohandas Gandhi


Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. ~Nikita Khrushchev



Promise little and do much. ~Hebrew Proverb


One promises much, to avoid giving little. ~Marquis de Vauvenargues


Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. ~Wayne Dyer




A politician is known by the promises he keeps.